How to Correctly Fall Off a Scissor Lift

I was asked a compelling question the other day. Now this inquiry was obviously an ironic question asked in hopes of receiving a goofy excuse of a response. Unknown, to even myself, as to why this question made me think so much, I began constructing a bulletproof plan to survive a three story fall while a motorized vehicle is being tipped over with you on the top of it. I have devised it into a few steps to be shared with you incase you ever find yourself in such a predicament.

1. You must figure out which direction this scissor lift is tipping so you can determine which side you will have to jump off of.

2. You must wait until the lift is at a tilt of at least a 39 degree angle before you climb over the railing on the opposing side.

3. Once you climb off you will have 3.7 seconds to walk down the side of the falling lift as it nears hitting the ground.

4. Now, at the very moment the lift reaches a 7 degree angle you will then have 1.8 seconds to jump and roll to break the fall, absorbing any of the counter energy from the height of your flight.

5. You have just successfully fallen 3 stories and avoided a life threatening accident. Your welcome.